Tuesday, April 20, 2010

"If you can't stand your problems try kneeling."

The other day in Relief Society someone mentioned this quote, and I thought it was pretty good. I guess that it kind of wraps up the last few years of my life.

~Warning this is another long, and ridiculously boring post, you are under no obligation to read it, better yet just scroll over it.~

~So its no real secret that we've had our share of struggles here at the Flamm house for the last few years. It all started with Jacob's eyes, then a cancer scare, a rough pregnancy, several dishonest people, colicky baby, getting laid off, having to move for the 5th time in 4 years (all over the place), not having a job or answers just fall into our laps...and the list goes on and on. Over the past year or so I guess I've spent a lot of time on my knees, basically because I just can't stand it any more.

~I used to pray for it all to stop, for it all to be a bad dream. But now I give thanks for all that I have learned, because the lessons I've learned (as awful an experience it's been) are priceless. I guess I'm grateful for these trials.....(can't believe I'm saying it.) I've learned a lot from all this, and I won't bore you with the details. But I wouldn't trade what I've learned for anything.

~I used to focus on everything negative even when there was literally nothing negative to focus on (I have really bad anxiety so true to form I'd always find something). I was always looking from the top down, just waiting to fall. But after falling repeatedly, falling isn't so scary anymore. I guess I'm saying I've gotten braver, and stronger all because I stopped just standing my problems and started kneeling.

~So to all those of you out there who can't stand your problems, try kneeling. And like my "new favorite song of the week" (Love Like Crazy by Lee Brice) says "never let your prayin' knees get lazy" and somehow you will always find the strength to go on, even when you have no idea of whats ahead.

1 comment:

markandjenny said...

You are one amazing girl, I always knew that though. Hang in there. I know some days are easier to be strong than others!