Thursday, September 22, 2011


Found this quote a few weeks ago while wasting my valuable time on Pinterest (aka the biggest waste of time, but aww... so fun.) But has been on my mind ever since, especially as life has gotten more crazy by the minute.

A few days ago a lady from my parent's ward stopped me while shopping to ask me what was going on in me and Jacob's life... when I had to go into detail about everything that we have been through over the last 3 years it was very humbling, as the hardest thing is to reflect on all the trials that have been dumped on us. I found myself being somewhat ashamed to explain everything from the blindness, to job loss, to unemployment, to struggling to building a business, and then expecting twins, and on and on. We've had to repeatedly reflect on this a lot lately as we have moved (for the 6th time in our 5 1/2 years of marriage) and the reflecting is seriously the hardest part. But then some people will ask "How do you feel about all this happening to you?" I hate answering that question, and a part of me wants to say...."how would you feel?" or "how should I feel?" But the honest answer is.... It's hard, harder than you can image at times. But we have learned to take it just one day at a time, and to search out all the blessings we still have, and give thanks for them every night. Like I have mentioned before, trials aren't given to us to break us, ironically they are given to us to make us stronger, so trials are blessings.

I just felt like I needed to share this quote before life gets even crazier. Because you never know who needs to hear it. I know Thanksgiving is a couple months away, but we should always be grateful. Even if you're life is one giant hot mess like mine, it could always be worse. And we need to just be grateful to have survived life's challenges.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Running Out of Womb....And Time!

I can't believe it, but I am already 36 weeks pregnant. 36 weeks has always been the time that I start having a few minor issues with my pregnancies. And this one isn't any different. My appointment last week revealed that both twins are breech (with their heads together right between my rib cage and directly under my sternum.) So whenever I have a contraction... they somehow get pushed up into my rib cage and..... ouch is all I have to say. They are so tight in there that there is most likely no way that they could turn.

The main problem is that both girls aren't gaining weight like they need to be and they're dropping pretty quick in percentages. About 1 month ago they were both 40% now they are in the 15% and 10%, which is pretty concerning and my Doctors are now saying that they will only let me go another week (at most) because these girls are literally running out of "womb" to move and grow. And of course I am still gaining weight. If it isn't too much to ask... please keep us in your prayers.

Come Thursday we should have a rough idea of when these two are ready or not here they come!

Jacob insisted that we take a shot from the front and back (which I refuse to post) just to show how narrow I still am. I went to Wal-mart last night and everyone kept staring at me, just kind of shocked with how much my stomach stuck out. The best was going to get ice cream because the girl at the counter literally gasped when I turned around and blurted out "when are you due?" And I said "any day with twins." and she said... "you don't even look pregnant from behind so I was quite shocked to see you turn around." I know that I must be pretty big because I am getting a lot of reactions like that lately... something that I am not use to at all.

And yes I feel just as miserable as I look in these photos, I have had horrible allergies, and my pelvis hurts so bad I can barely walk. And my stomach is so stretched out that it is literally numb to the touch. So I am physically more than ready to be done, but I'm not sure I'd ever be completely ready for these twins.