One Month Already!!!

Left Lydia, Right Alyssa

~My girls are one month old already! Where did that time go? It has gone by too fast! These girls have been really good babies, they are pretty good sleepers (knock on wood) and we have only had a few restless nights... thank goodness. As I have been super busy not only with these two but Aaron has decided he is ready to be potty trained (of course) and he is doing really well, but it sure makes for a lot of running around.

Can you tell the difference? They are almost completely different. The most obvious difference is that Lydia (the poor girl) has less hair and is losing it daily, which makes me want to cry. Alyssa however isn't losing hair at all so it looks like one bald twin and one twin with tons of hair.

They are getting so chubby! A little over a week ago Lydia was 6 lbs 1 oz while Alyssa was 6 lbs 5 oz. I think that Lydia is bigger than Alyssa now though, but we kind of expected that as she has longer feet.

Don't you love the outfits? my grandma and aunt got us a bunch of super cute outfits and that is what these girls have been living in for the last month. Can't thank everyone enough for the clothes, blankets and oh yes DIAPERS!!! I go through over 20 diapers everyday.
~This picture shows how bald my poor Lydia is getting, unfortunately she has a receding hair line and I like to laugh about it (as I have always wanted a bald baby, don't ask I just have), but when people comment about it I find myself getting very defensive... she is beautiful to me and I really don't compare her to Alyssa, and that is a hard part about twins I never expected... that is that people compare the two (understandable, as they are in fact twins) but I have found some people favoring Alyssa slightly (as she is more laid back, while Lydia is more dramatic), and that is a sure way to make mommy mad. Keep this in mind if you bump into twins, please watch what you say, twin moms are particularly sensitive.

~You've got to love Alyssa's face in this picture... she is my face puller, she is always making the funniest faces.

Kaylie holding Alyssa, which she doesn't get too do a whole lot of just because I am such a schedule Nazi, and you would be too if you had twins. If I keep them on the schedule they are on they are very easy to manage, but if I slip... that means an all nighter for mom and dad. So Kaylie will take every minute she can get with each baby, and she has been such a good helper, I dont' know how I could live without her.
Kaylie and Lydia. Lydia was a little cranky and wanted to eat, it wasn't quite time yet and Kaylie insisted on holding her. And some how my four year old got her to fall right to sleep in just a few minutes. Kaylie loves every minute of her two baby "st-is-sters".

Stop Praying for Patience!!!

(Well Worth The Read)

~If you are anything like me, you have prayed for patience.... several times, only to discover that a prayer like that will only test your wits to no end, and before long you will find yourself pulling out your hair and screaming, "I didn't pray for things to get harder."

~A few months ago I was giving a lesson in Relief Society and the topic of patience came up and I mentioned how I have prayed for patience several times and the frustrating results to these prayers. Especially with Jacob, he is normally a very patient person, and it takes a lot for him to get frustrated. But with his eye condition he has become increasingly impatient and easily frustrated, as I can only imagine it must be extremely frustrating to ever so slowly lose your eye sight. Oddly, as I tell him to be patient, I grow more and more impatient with his impatience and then I pray for patience (for it only to get much worse) and thus the cycle goes. Then I found myself pregnant (with the twins), beyond exhausted, and super sick. As the pregnancy progressed everything got much, much harder and I found myself in the same boat as Jacob, getting very impatient and very frustrated with myself and him in turn getting impatient with me. I'd pray for patience and of course it just would get harder.

~After the lesson, a sweet sister came up to me and she told me to stop praying for patience and to start praying for charity, "because patience will always fail, while charity never fails". This sister would know as she has a son my age with down-syndrome and I can only imagine how her patience has been tried and tested.

~So I stopped praying for patience and started to pray for charity, and it has changed my life! It allows me to see things in a perspective that I could never see before while I was wasting all my efforts focusing on my impatience. Charity takes the focus off my failed attempt at patience, and centers it on the perspective of the person or situation that I am dealing with, and then ample compassion follows, which allows me to work through the situation with patience.

~It took that awful pregnancy for me to realize that the reason Jacob is so impatient is because he is becoming less and less dependent upon himself to see the world around him and more and more dependent on me and my vision, just as I became more and more dependent on him to help me throughout the pregnancy, and it is much easier for me to be of assistance, rather than escalate the problem by getting frustrated with him.

~Having charity is essential with twins! As any mother knows a newborn can be sooo frustrating especially at 2 am. Try having two! With charity I have more empathy and compassion with the twins and more resolve to help them solve their problems, and this brings a calmness which in turn calms the twins.... making life sooo much more do-able. Also charity reminds me that this too will pass, and exhaustion never killed anyone.

~I can't thank that sweet sister enough for her advice, and I just wanted to share it with others: if you are being challenged and your patience is being pushed to the absolute max... pray for charity, trust me somehow it just works!

Two Weeks of Crazy!!!

Left to Right: Lydia and Alyssa Two weeks old exactly!

~Okay so it has been a little more than two weeks... sorry I have a lot going on lately! Let me just start by saying I wish everyone could have twins! I'm serious, these sweeties are sooo much fun, and they have brought a lot of happiness to our home. I was really worried (along with Jacob) that I would really struggle with two babies, but I've definitely changed (thanks to all the trials we've had lately) and I've been completely calm rather than over the top anxious even when we are up all night. As I have learned the hard way that there are far worse things than a crying baby or two, and this will all be over very quickly, so I am just enjoying every single minute of these two!

Because I have been calm these two have been very good babies. They already have a semi-sort-of schedule going on which has been a huge blessing, fingers crossed that they stay this way!
My Brain is on vacation....seriously.... it is beginning to be a huge problem. This happened the other day... I was hurrying to get Aaron dressed and so I quickly pulled his pants up and left the room only to see him plop down to the floor in frustration, thought it was another two year old temper tantrum.... nope mom just somehow got both this guy's feet in one pant leg.

~The same day I stood in front of the fridge for 20 minutes looking for the lunch meat only to realize I was holding it. Then I mixed up dates and completely missed our kids photo shoot. But thank goodness the photographer was more than understanding. And the list goes on and on.

The craziness hasn't been the twins, but my two older kids. Both have been just awful. So needless to day there have been about 20 or more time outs a day. Here is Aaron mimicking Kaylie and all the hours she has spent with her nose in the corner.

And here's Kaylie spending time in her corner. She has started teasing Aaron to no end, and the screaming is horrible, not to mention she always has something to do with Aaron waking the babies. I know this is just their way of getting my attention, but good grief enough all ready.

Lydia Top, Alyssa bottom. Can you see the differences? I think that Lydia looks a lot like my brother and sister Steven and Chantell. She has lighter hair (the main difference) and Alyssa looks just like Kaylie when she was a baby. The guess is that they will both have blue eyes... but as far as whether or not they will look alike is yet to be seen.
Left Alyssa is screaming because she is getting eaten my Lydia.... too funny. These two will always make their way towards each other in the crib or on the floor and usually starting sucking on each other.
Left Lydia, and right Alyssa. I just can't get enough of these two! They have already gained about 1 lb a piece! They are getting so big so fast!

~Report on me: I am feeling great! As anyone would after getting just over 10 lbs of baby taken out of them. I am recovering very quickly and everything is looking perfect! I found out on Friday that I have lost 30 lbs! That is 30 lbs in 2 weeks, no exercise and eating like a horse! It is crazy!!! I gained 48 lbs with this pregnancy (I was determined to have healthy twins and so I made myself gain that much) so I still have 18 lbs to go, but after talking to other twin moms, I'm really not worried about it, seems like I will be back to myself in no time, because I am nursing and they consume at least 1,000 calories everyday.

The Twins are Here!!!

Before the C-Section, September 28th 5:00 am at 37 weeks and 4 days. This is officially as big as I got! I was so tired and so miserable, and nervous, didn't sleep the whole night, don't know who could the night before your scheduled C-Section.

We had to be at the Hospital at 5:30 am to be prepped for the C-Section. Which wasn't bad at all by the way. After the few complications, with them not gaining enough weight, and them both being breech. And after some of the awful contractions I realized that Lydia (Baby B) was getting the worst of it, as her poor head was up in my rib-cage and taking the brunt of the contractions, so after knowing for a week about the procedure I started to like the idea much more.

Surgery was so fast! I had a Spinal-Tap which was much better than the Epidural, as it took on much faster and wore off a lot faster too. The whole thing was over in about 30-45 minutes. Jacob watched the whole thing, and found it fascinating. It was just as (if not more due to two) awesome and spiritual as any delivery! And of course the surgery wasn't completed without the topic turning to cars... story of my life.
I mixed the pics up, and would fix it but I have two babies crying at me right now.... this is Baby B (born at 7:59 am) or Lydia Jo, she was 4 lb 13 oz. And she screamed (in a very high pitch might I add) from the minute they pulled her out and all while I was getting sewn up.
Here is the Baby A (first Baby) Alyssa Jo, (born at 7:57 am) she weighed 5 lbs 5 oz. She didn't cry she was just gurgling, because she swallowed some amniotic fluid. They held her up over curtain she had both fists under her cheeks and was just looking at me contently with her eyes wide open. Alyssa had to spend a few hours in the NICU with oxygen on and she had a few x-rays of her chest to make sure she was okay. Thankfully she was alright!
Kaylie and Lydia Jo. Kaylie was in Heaven! Her face says it all! So we gave them both the middle name Jo because they were born on my mom's Birthday. (My mom's name is Jodi). And "Jo" means sweetheart. So we found it fitting. We debated for a few days because we didn't want it to be weird that we gave them same middle names. Kaylie's middle name is Jane because she was born on Jacob's mom's Birthday and her middle name is Jane. (P.S. Aaron was born on my sister's Birthday too.)
From Left to Right: Alyssa, Aaron, Kaylie and Lydia, I just love how Aaron was so fascinated with how tiny the babies are.

Aaron and Lydia, I was surprised how happy he was to see his little sisters, he couldn't hold either one enough!
All FOUR of my kids.... so crazy, I'm not old enough to have four kids already!
Aaron couldn't help but kiss his sweet sisters, here he is kissing Alyssa.
When we first had these two we thought they looked completely different. But as the day went on they started to look more alike. We can tell very easily who is who, but several family members think they are, while Jacob is confident they are not and I am still unsure. Alyssa is on the left, Lydia on the right.
The first night was rough until the nurses finally let us put them in the same bed, and then they slept much better. Lydia is on top and Alyssa is on the bottom.... too sweet!

Grateful

Found this quote a few weeks ago while wasting my valuable time on Pinterest (aka the biggest waste of time, but aww... so fun.) But has been on my mind ever since, especially as life has gotten more crazy by the minute.

A few days ago a lady from my parent's ward stopped me while shopping to ask me what was going on in me and Jacob's life... when I had to go into detail about everything that we have been through over the last 3 years it was very humbling, as the hardest thing is to reflect on all the trials that have been dumped on us. I found myself being somewhat ashamed to explain everything from the blindness, to job loss, to unemployment, to struggling to building a business, and then expecting twins, and on and on. We've had to repeatedly reflect on this a lot lately as we have moved (for the 6th time in our 5 1/2 years of marriage) and the reflecting is seriously the hardest part. But then some people will ask "How do you feel about all this happening to you?" I hate answering that question, and a part of me wants to say...."how would you feel?" or "how should I feel?" But the honest answer is.... It's hard, harder than you can image at times. But we have learned to take it just one day at a time, and to search out all the blessings we still have, and give thanks for them every night. Like I have mentioned before, trials aren't given to us to break us, ironically they are given to us to make us stronger, so trials are blessings.

I just felt like I needed to share this quote before life gets even crazier. Because you never know who needs to hear it. I know Thanksgiving is a couple months away, but we should always be grateful. Even if you're life is one giant hot mess like mine, it could always be worse. And we need to just be grateful to have survived life's challenges.

Running Out of Womb....And Time!

I can't believe it, but I am already 36 weeks pregnant. 36 weeks has always been the time that I start having a few minor issues with my pregnancies. And this one isn't any different. My appointment last week revealed that both twins are breech (with their heads together right between my rib cage and directly under my sternum.) So whenever I have a contraction... they somehow get pushed up into my rib cage and..... ouch is all I have to say. They are so tight in there that there is most likely no way that they could turn.

The main problem is that both girls aren't gaining weight like they need to be and they're dropping pretty quick in percentages. About 1 month ago they were both 40% now they are in the 15% and 10%, which is pretty concerning and my Doctors are now saying that they will only let me go another week (at most) because these girls are literally running out of "womb" to move and grow. And of course I am still gaining weight. If it isn't too much to ask... please keep us in your prayers.

Come Thursday we should have a rough idea of when these two are coming....so ready or not here they come!

Jacob insisted that we take a shot from the front and back (which I refuse to post) just to show how narrow I still am. I went to Wal-mart last night and everyone kept staring at me, just kind of shocked with how much my stomach stuck out. The best was going to get ice cream because the girl at the counter literally gasped when I turned around and blurted out "when are you due?" And I said "any day with twins." and she said... "you don't even look pregnant from behind so I was quite shocked to see you turn around." I know that I must be pretty big because I am getting a lot of reactions like that lately... something that I am not use to at all.

And yes I feel just as miserable as I look in these photos, I have had horrible allergies, and my pelvis hurts so bad I can barely walk. And my stomach is so stretched out that it is literally numb to the touch. So I am physically more than ready to be done, but I'm not sure I'd ever be completely ready for these twins.